Can you be iForgiven for having One Too Many?!

We absolutely love this story on the Reuters website and in the UK Metro paper:

"Drunk Trader Banned for 6m Rogue Oil Deal"

This is the story of a Broker who bought more than 7 million barrels of oil during a drinking binge. The poor guy, honestly, just imagine that awful cloud of realisation that swept over him as he awoke a couple of days later!!!

Many of you may be shaking your head in disapproval, but come on, are you *seriously* telling us that you have never woken up the morning after and realised that you have done something ridiculously stupid? You're now saying "not THAT stupid", but surely the issue here is that this guy had much greater opportunity to cause such damage, due to his employment?

If we're totally honest on the iForgiven cloud, we have certainly signed on to our work laptops after a few too many for a little work 'catch-up' - perhaps not delivering our finest works!

The culprit in this story, Stephen Perkins, committed the offence after a boozy company golf weekend. He tried to sell off the oil that he had bought on behalf of 'Client A' when he returned to work the following day. He tried to hide his drunken mess from his employers for some time, but eventually confessed and was sacked.

We absolutely iForgive Stephen Perkins. There's a serious side to this story in that in these incredibly high-pressured working environments, high levels of both drink and drugs are often apparent, simply to cope. These are generally overlooked and at times, deemed as acceptable social time with colleagues. 

Mr Perkins is currently receiving support to treat alcoholism, which surely speaks volumes about the lifestyle and environment created by such high pressured employment. Should employers be more conscious of offering employees alternative ways to cope and unwind? Should there be a greater cultural awareness from such employers into the well-being of their staff? Sometimes, they are all too quick to grab at the profits created by their employees, but not to support them through the consequences.

Full story here

Overcrowded or Unreformed: Can the Government be iForgiven?

There's a story in today's Telegraph signalling that fewer criminals will go to jail in future. It's believed that a larger majority of  offenders will be given community sentences because prisons are overcrowded and ineffective.

The article focuses on Kenneth Clarke, the Justice Secretary for the UK Government, making his first address since the new shared??? Parliament.

Our initial reaction to this on the iForgiven cloud was "Great, prisoners out on the street to cut costs", however, we've given this further thought. What purpose does prison serve? Is it there to keep the most dangerous of people off the streets or to rehabilitate offenders? Well, both, actually. Those incapable of rehabilitation need to be secured to protect the public interest, but those who would benefit from rehabilitation, should receive it.

Describing the size of the prison population as "astonishing", Mr Clarke is today expected to say that the current system is simply "warehousing" criminals at great expense and doing nothing to prevent them from re-offending when they are released.

So are we "going soft" on offenders? Wasn't this government expected to deliver a tough stance on crime? Perhaps this IS the tough stance? Perhaps this is a more effective way of managing and educating offenders? As Mr Clarke is expected to state, we need to "move away from the numbers game" and focus on whether the current policy is actually working.

Prison is costly and fails to "turn criminals into law-abiding citizens", in fact, quite the opposite in tougher prisons, where criminals are actually said to be toughened and go on to  harder crime upon their release. Almost half of prisoners re-offend within a year of their release and for those serving sentences of less than a year, this figre rises to 60%.

Those serving shorter sentences are not being rehabilitated, and upon being incarcerated, often lose their jobs and leave families behind to rely on an already cripled benefits system.

If we  were to provide strong, effective rehabilitation programmes for this group of non-dangerous criminals, surely we would benefit as a Country?

We iForgive this initiative. Who knows whether it will work or not, but it's got to be an improvement on paying thousands of pounds to keep someone locked in a box for a year, only to be released and re-offend all over again...isn't it?

Full story here

Can Women be iForgiven for Wanting it All?

Today, we see a an article on the BBC website which discusses the increase in women in their late 30s freezing eggs because they are either focusing on their careers, or still waiting for "Mr Right".

The research studied women at a Belgian clinic and showed that half wanted to freeze their eggs so that they didn't feel pressure to find "Mr Right". A third were also having eggs frozen as an "insurance policy" against infertility.

There are lots of Angels on the iForgiven cloud who haven't yet had children. Some don't want children, some are struggling to have children and some haven't met the person that wish to have children with yet.

So can women and the iForgiven Angels be iForgiven for dragging their heals on this one? Is it right to delay having children, whilst you focus on a career, other life choices or whilst you hold out for "the one"?

The article states that a separate UK survey has found that "many students would also consider the procedure to focus on a career before motherhood". The details of this study (of almost 200 students) reveals  that "eight in 10 doing a medical degree would freeze their eggs to delay starting a family". Among sports and education students half said they would consider it.

Egg freezing is still a relatively new technology, which enables a woman to save eggs for future IVF treatment if needed. The chance of success is better with younger, healthier eggs, yet most women currently choosing the procedure are in their late 30s and opting for egg freezing as a "last resort".

Can women be iForgiven for wanting to have a career as a priority over having children? The camp is very much split here on the iForgiven cloud:

In support of egg freezing

• Some of us have medical issues that may affect fertility, so would like to freeze eggs as young as possible as a back-up
• Some of us believe that you need to build and create a stable environment to give a child the best start in life and to do that, you need a career
• Some of us are still looking for "Mr Right" and would like to wait until we have a loving, stable relationship to bring a child in to

Opposing egg freezing

• If you are an older parent, you won't be able to grow mentally with your child into old age and support them through life
• Nature wasn't intended to be messed with and should be allowed to take it's natural course
• Physically, you won't be able to care for a child if you are a lot older

So can "life choices" such as this be iForgiven or should nature be allowed to run it's natural course? 

We, of course, believe that choice is one of the beautiful free gifts of the modern World. Women should be allowed to choose their own future, so we absolutely iForgive and also support the life choices that many women are making.

Full story here

Who, if Anyone, can be iForgiven for the Murder of James Bulger?

There is a story in the press this week about Jon Venables, one of the killers of James Bulger.

James Patrick Bulger, from Kirkby, Merseyside, England, was abducted, tortured and murdered when he was two years old. The boys that abducted and killed James were two 10 year old boys: Robert Thompson and Jon Venables.

James Bulger disappeared on 12 February 1993 from a shopping centre when he was shopping with his mother. His mutilated body was found on a railway line nearby on 14 February.

Thompson and Venables were found guilty of the murder of Bulger on 24 November 1993, making them the youngest convicted murderers in modern English history. They were sentenced to custody until they reached adulthood, initially until the age of 18, and were released on lifelong licence in June 2001.

In June 2001, after a six-month review, the parole board ruled the boys were no longer a threat to public safety and could be released as their minimum tariff had expired in the February of that year. The Home Secretary, David Blunkett, approved the decision, and both Robert Thompson and Jon Venables were released within weeks. They were given new identities and moved to secret locations under a "witness protection"-style action.

On 2 March 2010, the Ministry of Justice revealed that Jon Venables had been returned to prison for an unspecified violation of the terms of his licence of release. Justice Secretary Jack Straw stated that Venables was returned to prison because of "extremely serious allegations", and stated that he was "unable to give further details of the reasons for Jon Venables' return to custody, because it was not in the public interest to do so."

On 21 June 2010, it was reported that Jon Venables had been charged with possession and distribution of indecent images of children. It was alleged that he downloaded 57 indecent images of children over a twelve month period to February 2010, and allowed other people to access the files through a peer-to-peer network. A court hearing of the case is scheduled for 23 July 2010, where he will face two charges under the Protection of Children Act 1978.

This is an absolutely shocking account that makes the iForgiven Angels recoil in horror. The pain caused to James Bulger and his family can never be iForgiven and our thoughts go out to James's family and friends.

As we read this story, one question comes to mind: What happens to a ten year old boy to make him behave in this way? We are absolutely not condoning or iForgiving the actions of these children, but we do believe that there must be a reason for why a ten year old child turns into a killer. What does a child experience in life and what lessons, morals and judgement skills have these boys missed to create this mental state?

The trial judge, Morland J. said when sentencing Jon Venables and Robert Thompson:

"The killing of James Bulger was an act of unparalleled evil and barbarity. This child of two was taken from his mother on a journey of over two miles and then was battered to death without mercy and then his body was placed across the railway line so that his body would be run over by a train in an attempt to conceal his murder. In my judgement your conduct was both cunning and very wicked."

There are many schools of thought on this issue, all very difficult to discuss. The reason it's hard to even begin to contemplate this is because nobody wants to disrespect the Bulger family or James's memory, and nobody wants to excuse the horror James and his family have suffered.

We're going to take a deep breath here at iForgiven, and try to look at this objectively.

The public outcry provoked by the killing was immense. The murder of a young child makes us question the primitive instincts and aggressive urges in young children that, generally, fade as they are taught social rules, morals, affect on others and response to such actions as they grow.

Many of you will be familiar with 'The Lord of the Flies', the theme of which is a group of British schoolboys stuck on a deserted island who try to govern themselves, but with disastrous results, as many turn into savages. Its stances on the already controversial subjects of human nature and individual welfare versus the common good earned it global attention and it is now a required reading in many schools.

There are further examples of this type of behaviour under similar circumstances. Jane Elliott is an American teacher and anti-racism activist. With no formal training in psychology, she created the famous “Blue-eyed/Brown-eyed” exercise, first introduced to primary school children in the 1960s, and which later became the basis for her career in diversity training.

The study took a class of children  who were told that those with blue eyes were more superior. They were given extra privileges (like second helpings at lunch), access to the new jungle gym and five minutes extra for breaks. The blue-eyed and brown eyed children were not allowed to drink from the same water fountain, and the teacher offered only the blue-eyed children praise for being hard-working and intelligent. The brown-eyed children, on the other hand, would be disparaged. She even made the brown-eyed children wear ribbons around their necks.

The next day, the roles were reversed, making the brown-eyed children superior. The brown-eyed children did exhibit the same response and actions as the blue-eyed children the day before, however, there was much less intensity in their behaviour. Later the same day, the blue-eyed children were told to take off their ribbons denoting them as inferior and the children cried and hugged one another.

You can see the video of the experiment here

So what does this tell us? This particular study surrounds racial differences, however, the 'pack' mentality and loss of moral judgement dissipates incredibly quickly without any guidance from an adult. Can the actions of a child be iForgiven if it can be proved that they did not receive good moral guidance?

Who, if anyone, is to be blamed for the future of our children? Do we blame the family, the social services, the government, the schools, or the child? Can any of these groups be iForgiven?

It's nearly impossible to even consider iForgiving the actions of the children involved in the James Bulger murder, but here at iForgiven, we Angels most certainly feel that children should be nurtured, taught and invested in, as in many cases, children are the product of their upbringing and surroundings and there has to be a immense degree of responsibility for those caring for children, if not iForgiveness.

Full story here

iForgive the Budget?

It's Budget day in the UK so we're going to make ourselves comfortable on the iForgiven cloud and report on the Budget as it happens, with whether or not we can iForgive the tight cuts that are heading our way! 

Here's hoping it doesn't fluff our feathers up too much...

The toughest package of tax increases and spending cuts in a generation is expected to be unveiled by Chancellor George Osborne in this, his first Budget. We believe he will say that the measures, designed to tackle Britain's record deficit of £155bn, will be based on fairness, with the better-off paying more. 

Expected Measures:

• Duty on wine, beer, cider and cigarettes likely to rise
• Income tax personal allowance to rise by £1,000
• Council tax in England to be frozen
• Levy on banks
• Aviation tax change may be levied per plane rather than per passenger
• Employer NI threshold to rise
• Capital gains tax to rise on non-business assets like second homes
• Corporation tax to be simplified - headline rate cut
• Formal rules/targets to be set for deficit cutting plan

The iForgiven Angels will be updating this post from 12:30 GMT when the Budget is announced, plus voicing our thoughts on iForgiveness for the measures taken.

You can see live reporting on the Budget here

Pre Budget Commentary:


This is the first Conservative Budget in 30 years and the first coalition Budget in 70 years. This emergency budget deals with the countries record debt and George Osborne has said:

"It pays for the past and plans for the future,"


1 pound in every 4 we spend is borrowed and we have identified 6 billion pounds of savings in a review conducted over the last 7 weeks.

"Early, determined action has earned us credibility in international markets," says Mr Osborne

"I'm not going to hide hard choices from the British people or bury them in the small print of the Budget document, everyone will be asked to contribute to reducing the deficit and that everyone will share in the rewards when we succeed".

The Budget Facts:

• Economic growth is expected to be: 
• 1.2% this year
• 2.3% in 2011
• 2.8% in 2012 
• 2.9% in 2013 
• 2.7% in 2014

• To achieve this Budget, there will be a 77% reduction in spending and 23% gained by raising taxes.
• The inflation target remains at 2.3%
• Consumer price inflation is expected to reach 2.7% by the end of the year.
• Government borrowing will be 149BN this year and 116BN in 2011. 30 billion to be cut on public spending by 2014. 
• We will not be joining the Euro this year, so the department responsible for this has been dissolved.
• No capital spending cuts.
• With the full agreement of The Queen, the Civil List will remain frozen at £7.9 million for the coming year. 
• Departmental spending cut by 25%. 
• The Spending Review will be presented on Wednesday 20th October cuts in non-ringfenced departments will now be 25%. 
• Students could now be chased for their student debts by private firms 
• Queen's income to be frozen
• There will be a public sector pay freeze for 2 years, but those earning less than £21,000 will be protected 
• John Hutton will provide answer on pensions in September (public sector workers will also have (almost certainly) to pay more into their pensions as well)
• Benefits, tax credits and public service pensions will be up-rated in line with consumer prices rather than retail prices - Translation: you'll get less. 
• Reduce payments to families earning over 40k next year
• Freeze child benefit for the next 3 years
• Disability benefit is one of the largest items of government spending. From 2013, there will be a medical assessment which will be applied to new and existing claimants
• There will be maximum limits set on housing benefit (max 400 a week) and this can now only be backdated to 1 month and not 3 as it currently is. Housing benefit costs will be reduced by £1.8 bn a year by the end of the Parliament, or 7 per cent of the total budget.
• It will be cheaper for companies to employ people as the threshold at which employers start to pay NI will rise by £21 per week 
• Reduce the small companies tax rate to 20p
• Business tax will be cut by 1% annually between 2011-2013
• Four annual reductions in the rate of corporation tax will take it down to just 24%
• Banks will be paying for the risks and rewards of International Banking. Bank levy to be introduced in January 2011
• Total cuts: 11bn off welfare. 17bn off departmental spending added to 44bn planned by Labour.
• 5 year plan to reform the business tax system
• Telephone tax is to be scrapped and they will support private broadband initiatives so we are not tied to BT
• Plans to create a green investment bank
• New businesses created outside of London and the South East will be subject to a new tax scheme - new businesses will be exempt from up to £5k of employer NI payments for 1st 10 employees hired
• VAT set to rise from 17.5% to 20% on 4th January 2011. This will create more than 13BN a year of extra revenues
• No new increases in duties on alcohol, tobacco or fuel
• We will help local authorities in England to freeze council tax for one year from next April.
• Taxpayers on higher rates will pay 28% on their capital gains
• 880,000 of the lowest paid workers will no longer pay income tax
• Increase in the income tax personal allowance by £1,000 in April
• Lasting help for pensioners: From April 2011, the basic state pension will be re-linked to earnings to protect those who have worked all of their lives (although will they be heavily hit by VAT?)
• Increase the child element of the child tax credit 150 above indexation in 2011  

So how will this affect you? If you are a:

• Pensioner, you will be £5 worse off per year
• Single Mum you will be £20 worse off per year
• Low Income Family you will be £75 worse off per year
• Middle Income Family you will be £483 worse off per year
• Public Sector Worker, you will be £240 worse off per year

iForgiven Angels Analysis:

We've had some time to digest the UK Budget 2010 now and this is what we think:

 

It's certainly a tough Budget and those most affected are those on benefits, the rich and the banks. In theory this sounds great, as we believe that the banks should be more accountable and that the rich should pay more than the poor. For this, the Chancellor is iForgiven. 

 

Regarding benefits, this is incredibly tricky. The Chancellor seemed to infer that this Budget will sift out those that do not deserve benefits and are not looking for work, those who are wrongly receiving medical benefits and also those who have children when they cannot afford them. Although these measures will, ultimately, affect people not in these groups, we do think that this system needs cleaning up. It's incredibly tough, but here on the iForgiven cloud, we do believe that this is long overdue. 

 

It will be a tough few years for all, but hopefully the tax breaks for those with the lowest pay and the money brought in from higher VAT will help to lessen our debt and promote economic growth. There are also breaks for new and small businesses which will also assist the economy.

So, the final conclusion: It's tough, but we iForgive these tough measures, because if the Government is true to their stated intentions, this should benefit all in the long run.

God Save the Queen...but would i?

Pomp, ceremony, tradition and insane laws to boot...welcome to England!

Here are a few of the fabulous laws, still applicable, in good old Blighty:

• It is illegal for a cab in the City of London to carry rabid dogs or corpses.
• It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament.
• It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside down.
• Under the UK’s Tax Avoidance Schemes Regulations 2006, it is illegal not to tell the taxman anything you don’t want him to know, though you don’t have to tell him anything you don’t mind him knowing.
• In the UK, a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants – even, if she so requests, in a policeman’s helmet.
• In Lancashire, no person is permitted after being asked to stop by a constable on the seashore to incite a dog to bark.
• In England, all men over the age of 14 must carry out two hours of longbow practice a day.
• In London, Freemen are allowed to take a flock of sheep across London Bridge without being charged a toll; they are also allowed to drive geese down Cheapside.
• In the UK, a man who feels compelled to urinate in public can do so only if he aims for his rear wheel and keeps his right hand on his vehicle.
• In Chester, Welshmen are banned from entering the city before sunrise and from staying after sunset.
• In the city of York, it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow.
• In London, it is illegal to flag down a taxi if you have the plague.
• The head of any dead whale found on the British coast is legally the property of the King; the tail, on the other hand, belongs to the Queen - in case she needs the bones for her corset.

So why do the English hold on to these quirky laws, royal ceremonies and tradition?

England has been settled by people of various cultures for about 35,000 years. England became a unified state in AD 927, and since the Age of Discovery, which began during the 15th century, has had a significant cultural and legal impact on the wider world. The English language, the Anglican Church, and English law (the basis for the common law legal systems of many other countries around the world) was developed in England, and the country's parliamentary system of government has been widely adopted by other nations. The Industrial Revolution began in 18th-century England, transforming its society into the world's first industrialised nation. Additionally, England's Royal Society laid the foundations of modern experimental science.

Tradition is in the very bones of our existence. Add a quirky twist and you have what we are loved for the World over.

So, why are we at iForgiven even looking into this? There has been a new story developing late last week that the tennis player, Andy Murray, will not bow to the Queen if he is presented to her at Wimbledon. Murray declared last week that bowing in front of the royal box should be a matter of personal preference.

This fabulous, free and open country does not force this politeness on anyone, however, as we sit and ponder this one on the iForgiven cloud, we're wondering what has happened to the manners and pleasantries that we once held so dear. We all have a view on whether or not you believe in the Royal family, however, this is a very small act showing respect for a principle figure. Why are we so against such respect and pleasantries in this age? At iForgiven, we were taught to respect others, be polite and have great manners. This doesn't mean that when we display these to another person, we agree with everything that they have ever said or done, it just shows that we have respect.

So should Andy Murray be iForgiven for not upholding these pleasantries? Of course...because he has changed his mind:

"Yesterday the All England Lawn Tennis Club was moved to comment on the issue when Tim Phillips, the club chairman, told the Evening Standard: "The players who will be presented to the Queen have been told that it would be hugely appreciated if they would either bow or curtsey. You cannot force anybody to do anything but the players I have spoken to are all very pleased to be meeting the Queen.

In response Murray tweeted yesterday that: "[There have been a] few stories about me not bowing to the Queen if I play in front of her. Not the case, would be an honour and privilege, of course I'll bow."

Well done Andy for recognising that morals, courteousness and politeness cost nothing! We will most certainly be iCheering for you in your game ;)

Full story here

iWas Here First..But Does that Matter?

On Saturday, a toddler was taken to hospital after being bitten by a fox, after he pulled it's tail. The three-year-old boy was injured as he played outside at a playground where a fox had made its den for a year or so. The headline read:

"Toddler taken to hospital after fox attack"

The iForgiven Angels are obviously concerned about the health of the child, however, shouldn't this headline actually read:

"Toddler taken to hospital after fox defence"?

There has been much news about the increase of foxes in urban areas and the safety concerns that this brings. The health and safety of the human race is very important, but perhaps we should stop to think about this one.

The land that we are living on (particularly in this area) was inhabited by foxes long before we arrived. We have then created an environment where we leave food and mess that encourages the foxes further. The fox is doing what comes naturally to it, it wasn't an unprovoked attack and if you pulled the tails of the iForgiven Angels, there's a fair chance that the reaction wouldn't be favourable. The nursery that this child attended were fully aware that the fox den was there. It posed no threat so they did nothing. A little pre-thought would have gone a long way here. The nursery could have contacted the RSPCA months ago and they would have moved the fox to a safer location for all at no charge.

How can we now demonise the fox? Here on the iForgiven cloud, we absolutely iForgive this fox. It was provoked and it behaved naturally, which is all that we can expect.

Full story here

Protection or Cruelty...can we iForgive?

Education is a fabulous thing. Not a day goes by when we on the iForgiven cloud do not learn something new. But how far should we go to educate ourselves?

Today, the Sun newspaper reports that:

"Animals at one of Britain's biggest drive-through zoos are kept in over-crowded and unsafe enclosures that leave some half-blind, a Government report reveals. Woburn Safari Park - owned by the Duke of Bedford - says its wildlife enjoy living in a "natural environment, but Defra inspectors found lions and tigers caged for hours in "unsafe" pens, turtles left for months in temporary tanks and sea lions kept in chlorinated water that caused eye ulcers and blindness."

We believe it's incredibly important to educate ourselves on the the World in which we live and the creatures, fauna and flora that this World is bursting with, but is it acceptable to keep animals in this way?

As children, we used to love visits to farms, zoos, aquariums and safari or wildlife parks, but we certainly didn't walk around and view the true lives that the animals had. Lions in giant glass viewing enclosures, thousands of fish in huge column tanks, monkeys swinging on car tyres...is this right and moral? There are two thoughts schools of thought here.

The first thought is that most of the animals in this environment have been bread in captivity and not taken from the wild as they were years ago. They have never known anything different from this environment and they couldn't be reintroduced to the wild for this reason. From these animals, we learn behaviour, we can study their biology and can use this knowledge to help those in the wild.

The second thought is why are these animals being bread in captivity - why are they being allowed to procreate, leaving many others facing the same existence. Surely their natural behaviour is altered in many ways as they are not in their natural environment. Those who are predators cannot hunt and kill, they are fed from the hand of the keeper.

Darwinism tells us of survival of the fittest, yet we see examples such as Niko, the Silverback Gorilla at Longleat Animal Park. Nico is a 48 year old (96 in human years - the average life span for a Gorilla in the wild is 30+ years) Silverback Western Lowland Gorilla. He now lives alone as his female companion died recently. Gorillas are not solitary animals and Silverbacks are the strong, dominant troop leaders. Each typically leads a troop (group size ranges from 5 to 30) and is in the center of the troop's attention, making all the decisions, mediating conflicts, determining the movements of the group, leading the others to feeding sites and taking responsibility for the safety and well-being of the troop. So what kind of live is Nico actually living?

The keepers at Longleat work incredibly hard to care for their animals and give them as much of a varied life as possible, but is this enough? Nico has recently been given a TV with Sky +. Words escape us. What are we turning these animals in to? The story on the Longleat website reads:

"Lord Bath, owner and resident of Longleat House and nearest neighbour to Nico, installed Sky+ HD in early 2008 and Nico’s keepers thought it was about time that Nico followed suit and joined the high def era."

Nico joined the high def era??? Surely we didn't just read that?

There are further examples of captive animals regularly in the press: Orca whales killing their keepers and being kept in tanks that they cannot even turn around in and Lions pacing through mental illness as they don't have enough stimulation.

Can we iForgive the keeping of animals so that we can educate and entertain ourselves? We don't doubt that it's wonderful and exhilerating for all of us to have an opportunity to see and learn about these magnificent creatures, but at what expense?

Full story here

iBored, iSick, iTired...

"Two thirds of British women are "completely bored" with their lives, a new study  has claimed."

This story features in today's Telegraph and has our feathers ruffled on the iForgiven cloud! The story reports that:

"Their dissatisfaction was blamed on getting stuck in a routine and having no social life along with constant pressures at work. Performing household chores on top of their jobs was also key to making women unhappy as well not having enough holidays."

Good Lord! When was this story written - the 1940's? Are we saying that modern women in Britain are incapable of a work-life balance and that this juggling of responsibilities only falls to the female of our generation? Please iForgive me for the rant that follows...

It's as simple as this: If you want a career, have it, if you want children, have them, if you want holidays, book them...if you want everything, do so, but DON'T then complain that this is too much. If we all had everything that wanted in life, wouldn't things just be glorious? We can all sit there every day and say "I want...I want...I want...". As a child, I was always told this: "I Want, Never Gets". Have we totally lost the ability to prioritise and make choices? Are we all victims of our own wants and demands?

Come on girls, we fought for equal rights, for the freedom to work at the same level as our male counterparts, for the right to choose birth control or to have children or to choose careers. We simply *can't* have it all and then say it is too much. Each person has both a physical and mental limit and choices must be made. Yes, our male counterparts do not have the choice of giving birth to our offspring, but this is a fact of nature. If you want it all, have it, but then please don't waste your life moaning about how awful it 'all' is.

"Elaine Smith, marketing manager for Florette Fruit, which surveyed 3,000 women said: Women today are so busy trying to have it all - the job, the family, the social life - that somehow we've ended up with nothing. It is no surprise two thirds of British women are bored with their lives and half are sick of doing the same thing day in and day out. Women have lost the get-up-and-go to shake up their lives and try something different."

On the iForgiven cloud, the Angels are jumping up and shouting "HERE, HERE!!!!" 

Come on girls, if your life is a bore, learn something new, join a night class, learn to dance, teach your children to cook, learn to sing, take up pole dancing, start jogging, write a book...the possibilities are endless in life and you really can't spend your days blaming others for your existence. The article goes on to say that:

"However, nine out of ten thought life would be improved with a little spontaneity...Grabbing those spontaneous moments only takes place when we remove the barrier between what we want to do and actually taking action."

Life isn't made exciting by a week on safari or a trip to the moon, life is exciting when you plan a midnight picnic, camp in the garden for the night with romantic food, let your children paint their favourite pictures all over a bedroom wall, have 10 friends over for pizza and fancy-dress twister, have a karaoke competition on a Monday night in your lounge, write a secret online diary, teach yourself the lyrics to the hottest new rap song, share a bath with a loved one, have your friends over for a sleepover with sleeping bags, torches and all...you really *must* take time to savour the beauty that this life offers for free. Who cares what the neighbours say, who cares what anyone says? As long as you hurt nobody and make yourself giggle, we say GO FOR IT!

The most depressing part of this article was the final paragraph:

"TOP 10 THINGS WOMEN WISH THEY COULD DO 1. Go to an airport and get the next available flight to anywhere 2. Emigrate 3. Tell people what they really think of them 4. Hand in their notice without another job to go to 5. Have a dramatic hair cut 6. Put the house up for sale and buy a new one 7. Try something new in the bedroom 8. Go back to school 9. Book in for a boob job 10. Sing in public"

My goodness...can we really not think of better ways to make life exciting?! Well we iForgive you for any lack of creativity you may have, and to give you a inspiration and a helping hand to find the fireworks in your life, we have compiled a list of the things we have done in the last six months that made our lives absolutely incredible:

• Took part in a 10,000ft tandem skydive (paid for with charity money raised - so free and benefiting a very worthy cause!)
•  Went on a totally blind date through a free internet dating website
•  Had a BBQ at midnight with 5 friends
•  Played strip Twister - you have to take off an item of clothing with each fall!
•  Hired a karaoke booth for an hour with 9 other friends
•  Attended a Burlesque class
•  Learned how to build basic furniture on a green wood working course
•  Attended an Astronomy course
•  Learned to blog and started 2 blogs!
•  Fallen pregnant!
•  Fallen in love
•  Incredibly, did eight one-handed cartwheels at 6am up a street (more invigorating than you can imagine!)
•  Dressed our male friends up in dresses and sent them to get the shopping in
•  Bought a giant air bed and spent the day launching people off the far side by all jumping on the nearside together - INCREDIBLE fun!
•  Gone on holiday with a new boyfriend for the first time
•  Went to a roller-skating disco
•  Entered a dance competition
•  Took part in an 80 mile cycle race for charity
•  Ran a half marathon
•  Handed notice in and started a fabulous new job
•  Moved to a new country
•  Let twin boys paint their own bedroom as they wished (aged 7 and the result was actually fabulous and creative and magical!)

We could go on and on and on...the point of this is just to show you that many, many things in life make it fabulous. Some are free, some have an emotional cost and some a financial cost, but please, please, please go out there and grab your life with both hands and make choices for you and not anyone else. Nobody else will do it for you.

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Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder (or beer holder?!)...but What if we are Trying to Love Ourselves?

"The brain naturally distorts body image" 

Oh how we danced around the iForgiven cloud as we read this headline!!! It's TRUE, when many of the iForgiven Angels check out their peachy bottoms in the mirror, sometimes they just seem a little bigger...but we are always sure that they can't be?! 

You know how it is these days, these cheap mirrors just don't represent the hour glass figures that we know we have. They show lumps and bumps in places that didn't show them yesterday, they show two sets of wings...one feathered, one fat! We knew that there had to be a scientific cause for this distorted image...and here it is!

So, we opened the biscuits, fluffed up the cloud and sat down to read the factual findings that would explain these teeny weeny issues away...

"The volunteers were asked to put their left hands palm down under a board and judge the location of the covered hand's knuckles and fingertips with a pointer.This revealed striking distortions - the volunteers tended to misjudge their hands as wider and their fingers as shorter than they actually were. The researchers say the distortions are subconscious and involve the ability known as position sense that the brain uses to know where all parts of the body are in space even when the eyes are closed."

What wonderful news to start the week! We say LOVE yourself for all that you are, the wobbly bits, the wayward bits and the wonderful bits...it's you, all FABULOUS you...and we most certainly iForgive any added extras, as we wouldn't change you for the World!

Full story here

iSorry...but can they iForgive?

It's taken 38 years for  for truth and justice campaigners in Northern Ireland to hear these magic words:

"None of the 14 dead was carrying a gun, no warnings were given, no soldiers were under threat and the troops were the first to open fire"

So what is all of this about? Bloody Sunday was an incident that took place on 30 January 1972 in the Bogside area of Derry, Northern Ireland, in which twenty-six unarmed civil rights protesters or bystanders were shot by the British Army Parachute Regiment during a Northern Ireland Civil Rights Association march. Thirteen men, seven of which were teenagers, died immediately or soon after, while the death of another man four and a half months later has been attributed to the injuries he received on the day. Two protesters were injured when they were run down by army vehicles.

As David Cameron (Prime Minister, Great Britain) announced the findings and apologised on behalf of the British state, a crowd of up to 10,000 people watching his statement on a television screen in Derry's Guildhall Square cheered wildly.

"I never want to call into question the behaviour of our soldiers and our army, who I believe to be the finest in the world."

"But the conclusions of this report are absolutely clear. There is no doubt, there is nothing equivocal, there are no ambiguities. What happened on Bloody Sunday was both unjustified and unjustifiable. It was wrong."

This has been an incredible battle for the families of those killed, who have campaigned and struggled against the Armed Forces to prove the innocence of their lost family brothers and fathers. So what now? Is it a time for iForgiveness? Can we close this chapter in history and now rest to remember the lost? It would seem not, it's payback time:

Lord Gifford QC, who represented the family of civil rights marcher Jim Wray who died on Bloody Sunday, said: "There are a number of possible charges arising from this report which has been thorough and even-handed. Murder is of course the obvious one. But the report also found that soldiers deliberately attempted to mislead the inquiry."

So what is this? Revenge? Payback? This is such a hard topic to discuss, but ultimately, here at iForgiven, we don't think this is revenge, we think this is justice and that those responsible should be brought to stand up and explain themselves.

We can iForgive a mistake, but we don't condone the actions that caused loss to so many families or condone the cover-up that ensued to hide these actions.

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The Darker Side of iForgiveness?

This is one we've been batting around for a little while, but haven't yet come to a conclusion on. We're all up for iForgiveness (obviously - the clue is in the title...), but where do we stand on the BP oil crisis? We're going to lay this one out a bit and let us know what you think:

The Victims

 - The Wildlife

 - The Economy

 - The Local People

 - BP Employees

....HEY?!?!?!...that's right...I know, it's a crazy view to take, but as we sit here on the iForgiven cloud, we cannot help thinking about the employees that will be taking the fall for this. The facts seem to be that lower priced kit was used on this pipe and it hasn't made the grade. This will have been a cost-cutting, Management decision, but there will be folks all down the line that care about this as much as the American people and we do. People will lose jobs, the economy will suffer and everyone is worse off.

There aren't any winners on this one, the wildlife is suffering terribly, our beautiful planet is being damaged beyond repair and the people in the US are having their health and livelihoods affected. It's a tragic situation for all involved. 

Somewhere, there must be someone to point the finger at here. Imagine if your boss had made this choice and the eyes of the World now pointed at you? This applies to many decisions: to anyone with a religion, we're always quick to point the finger and say it causes wars, but my neighbours that go along and have a sing-song every Sunday at 10am and then take care of those around them...well they don't have secret bazookas in their knitting bag...the same for the kids at the top of the street...sure, the noise of their skateboards drives me mad, but they probably don't have a blade in their back pocket and a spliff in their front, just because they wear a hoodie. 

We're currently iForgiving the BP right now, because you can't blame an entire group of people for the decisions and choices of a few. We say: If you have a faith, pray for a miracle to sort this, if you don't...well pray anyway...as this is one heck of a mess.

Latest update here

Rah rah ah-ah-ah! Ro mah ro-mah-mah Gaga Ooh-la-la!

Variety is the spice of life, and here at iForgiven, we just love the weird, wonderful and eccentric. Which is why we love Lady Gaga attending a baseball game sporting nothing more than a studded bikini and tights! 

We absolutely iForgive Lady Gaga for being herself and standing out from the crowd, in fact, we actively encourage it!  

The World is full of amazing people, all colours, all shapes, all sizes, from all walks of life and absolutely buzzing full of life. We say celebrate your inner self, love yourself, love your fellow man 

Full story here

Can the Tabloids be iForgiven for going TOO Far?

Today in the Daily Mail, there's an incredibly sad story about American tabloid 'The Globe' publishing photos of Gary Coleman on his death bed.

For those of you who don't know Gary Coleman, he was a child star in Diff'rent Strokes, an American television sitcom that aired in both the US and the UK. The series had a light-hearted edge but also showed special episodes in which serious issues such as racism, drug use and child molestation were explored. This is pretty commonplace today, but in the late 70's and early 80's, this was pretty ground-breaking stuff.

So the question is, can the press be blamed for publishing these photos of Coleman on his death bed? They didn't take the or steal them, these were sold to the press by Coleman's common-law wife. So who should we be pointing the finger at here? Should the press be criticised for their lack of moral judgement, or should we be turning to his common-law wife, Shannon Price, to ask why Coleman could not have his final moments out of the spotlight?

This is a tough call, at iForgiven, we believe in the freedom of the World press, but we more strongly believe in upholding morals and dignity at all times. We believe Coleman should have been left to die in peace, especially as he often lived in turmoil.

Rest in Peace Coleman.

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The A-Team : iForgiving Sentimentality

Now before you turn your nose up, think back to that amazing theme tune that inspired more than a few commando rolls across the school field, the cool outfits, and scrunching up your face to mimic BA's "I 'aint gettin' in no plane fooooooooool"...that's right, they're back, albeit in an altogether swankier fashion, as can be seen in the film trailer here.

So can we forgive the fact that this film already has dreadful reviews, will never meet our expectations of clunky camera work and rubbish special effects that we held so dear? Is it enough just to feel that old nostalgia that will bring back our happy childhood memories? 

As we sit and ponder this one at iForgiven, conversation (naturally) leads on to Airwolf, He-Man, Thundercats,...and before we know it, we are shouting out our favourite catch phrases and frantically googling for the original theme tunes...

Can this altogether poorer rebirth of an old classic be iForgiven? Have a listen to the linked theme tunes and we're sure you will agree...for the nostalgia alone, of course it can!

P.S. Did you know that this is 29 Acacia Road, and this is Eric, a schoolboy who leads an amazing double life...for when Eric eats a banana, an amazing transformation occurs...for Eric is...BANANAMAN!!!!!

Kelsey Grammer iForgives Twitter Hoaxer

To set the story: Frasier star, Kelsey Grammer, 'befriends' a Scottish girl, Lauren Chalmers, on twitter who claims to be serving in Afghanistan. On the 3rd June this year, the star receives the tragic news that Lauren has been killed in an explosion. The star, deeply saddened, posts on twitter about the loss, only to find out after an investigation by the Scottish Sun, that Lauren is alive and well, and made the story up to befriend Grammer.

Clearly, there are a few issues here:

1) The use of social networking sites, blogs or tweets to make 'friends'

2) The insult to those with families who actually have lost someone serving their Country

Looking at the first, I think it's important to highlight the pressure placed on children to be safe on the net. Don't add people you don't know, don't talk to strangers, don't reveal anything personal. But how many of these rules do we follow ourselves as adults? What is it they say "Do as I say, not as I do..."

Secondly, here at iForgiven, we're sad that anyone would use such a sensitive subject as a hoax. Whether you are against or for the Armed Forces, you have to respect that lives are lost and families are left behind. We're all for forgiveness here, but perhaps actions speak louder than words and Lauren should volunteer in a rehab centre for those returning from Afghanistan, so that she fully appreciates the depth of this hoax?

Full story here

Emile Heskey iForgiven for knocking Rio Ferdinand out of the World Cup

 There's one day to go, the pubs have their giant screens up, the St. George's flag adorns every white van in sight and people are already planning their sick days...but are we setting our selves up for a fall here?

 In today's Independent, they report that:

 "The England striker Emile Heskey said yesterday that he still felt guilty for his part in the challenge that ended Rio Ferdinand's World Cup finals despite being forgiven by the England captain."

Emile heskey (who normally plays for Aston Villa), faced a challenge by Ferdinand during the team's first training session on Friday. It was reported that Ferdinand's knee was so badly damaged that almost immediately, he knew he was out of the World Cup. Oh how I feel for this guy. Not only has he inured another player *just* before the big day, he's actually taken out the Captain.

So how forgiving are we? Will we jump back on this incident in the days to come if the team flops out of the World Cup, or will we remember that this was an accident? Time will tell...answers on a postcard from South Africa...

Full story here